Inspiration!

Sometimes I get really frustrated as a parent. My anger gets the best of me some days when it comes to Cruz. I lose all patience and I start yelling and then later kick myself about how poorly I handled whatever the situation was. There's a lady I work with that I will sometimes discuss my parenting woes with. She usually has some pretty good advice for me and will never just tell me what it is I want to hear. After some time she finally recommended a book to me that she read that inspired her as a parent. It's called Kid's Are Worth It by Barbara Coloroso. I started reading it last night. I haven't even gotten close to finishing it yet, but I have already learned SO much! It has already helped tweak and modify my thinking of handling children.
The first main point she makes is that we all love our kids. They are obviously worth it just because they are. Simple as that. Then she goes on to say that she lives by the golden rule as a parent. If she would not like to be treated a certain way then why would she do it to a child. For an example of this she used sticker reward systems. If she were a 70 year old lady who's care taker was bribing her to fill up a sticker chart by doing things like getting out of bed herself, making it to the toilet on time and so on so forth, she would be humiliated. So why do it to a child? What she teaches is to help your child learn inner discipline. To learn to do the right thing not for the reward, but for the plain reward of doing the right thing and the good feelings that gives. On the same token, she also chooses not to punish a child for doing the wrong thing. Instead of punishment, she disciplines. The goal is not to yell, degrade or make a child feel worse for doing something naughty, but instead to help the child figure out how to make it right and learn from there.
I re-read everything I just wrote. I know I didn't do the book justice. I'm really excited to continue reading the book. I can't wait to start to put what I'm learning into action. I feel like this is such a great way to teach a child some inner discipline as opposed to making a child fear punishment or look for reward. I don't want Cruz to only do what is expected of him because he gets something for it, I also don't want him not do bad things because he is afraid of the consequence. I want him to know how to make his own decisions and to trust himself to make his own decisions instead of having everything dictated to him. Of course he's still really little and I will still have struggles and mess up, but my goal is still to help give him the gift of inner discipline and not bribe or punish. But, I definitely recommend at least checking out this book. I swore after I read some really bad advice about letting Cruz cry himself to sleep that I wouldn't read any more parenting books. I wanted to figure things out for myself and trust my instincts. However, my instincts lead me to lose my dignity and Cruz's when things get rough. If there was ever a book to read, this is it. Even if you don't agree with it at the very least it will challenge you to re-evaluate why you do the things you do or believe the things you believe as far as parenting goes.
The book I'm reading was written in 1994, so I was surprised that she has a website. It's www.kidsareworthit.com. Check it out!